How big is your Universe?

I was hoping I would feel an easing of the Pressure in 2014.  2013 took all I had.  I was anticipating--counting on, even--a respite, a chance to catch my Breath, but as yet I haven't found it.  Sigh....

Instead I find myself still needing to escape it--books provide wonderful, private journeys through others' labyrinths, not mine.  And that does ease the pressure.  It's a joyous escape, even when I'm reading crime/mystery drama series.

There is another way for me, though.  I won't even use the word escape, because it's much more productive and fulfilling than a mere avoidance.  When I channel energies, frequencies, when I'm running Clearing through a beautiful faceted garnet through my base chakra, it really gets clear, and strong.  When I channel Universal Light through my special rosy river rock, the feeling is amazing.  Pulled into my heart chakra with my breath, it's almost like a tall glass of fresh spring water on a dry, hot day; saturating my heart with beauty, love, and a conscience that I recognize and cherish, because it is nothing outside of me.  It is More of Me.  I am Restored.  It has quenched my Spirit's thirst.

I haven't take the time to do energy work for myself enough lately.  Every time I do do it, I realize, "I really need to do this more."  It fulfills me so.

Tonight it started me thinking ... I was channeling Universal Light, and as it flowed through me, I sought to Know it.  I drew it in, felt it, and understood.  Understood that, looking at the Universe with an architectural eye, there is nothing in this universe that is not Universal Light.  This frequency that I channel is a key and basic ingredient in all life in this Universe.  It is the most basic.  But my brain kept musing... so if this Universal Light frequency is the common denominator of every lifeform that calls this Universe home, what other ones make up the unique energy signature that is Me?  You?

I concluded that the next biggest ingredient in the particular blend of frequencies that is YOU is the frequency signature of the galaxy you call home.  The next one is the signature of your solar system.  Next, obviously, is your planet, then the continent, your country of origin, the state you live in ...   And so on down to your family and finally, You, in your own individuated state.  We humans are a combination of all of these energy signatures, layered one upon the other.

That led me to think of the Universe as a garden, its energy frequency the fertile soil from which we spring, the rich home of all Universal life.

If the Universe is the garden in macro, then my life is my own micro garden.  And I get to plant what I want, weed when I want, water when I want, and harvest when I want.  If I'm smart, I'm going to do all those things at the appropriate time for optimum growth and flourishing.  Right?

OK, so I'm now deciding that 2014 is a good year for gardening.  I'm planting an outrageously wonderful Garden of Life for myself, and I will take really good care of it.  Because I have a feeling that with a little more attention and TLC, a little more conscious intent and focus, my garden can grown into a beautiful life in 2014, with a wonderful harvest of love and beauty, creativity and expression, joy and abundance.  So there!

A Quiet Autumn Morning ...

a flock of Canada geese on a quiet cove of Lake Champlain ...

Well, gosh, 2013 is providing so many wonderful opportunities for learning, it's ridiculous.  I am having the month from hell--and I want to cry, and rant and rave, and wallow in a pity party, and blame everything on somebody--something--else, and yet ...

... And yet I also am totally able to also see that this 3-D reality is so temporal, so illusory, that really, Marna, is it worth getting all stressed out about?  "It's only life, after all," to quote my fav duo, the Indigo Girls.

On so many levels things are shifting.  Forget steady ground, there's not even shifting sand beneath my feet.  Yikes.  I'm the kind of person who can be alone yet never lonely, quiet and secluded yet never bored, under stress and challenged but never depressed or faithless.  And yet, these days I have been experiencing a whiff of these things, and that has shocked me.

Still, while I may be feeling "less than" and "compromised" personally, I've had amazing success with clients and feeling ever more connected to the I Am.

I guess that's the rub... feeling, being, experiencing all the dichotomies, all the polarities of 3-D, and Knowing at the same time, my constancy as an integral part of the I Am, the Source Field, as David Wilcock calls it.

6 a.m. and time to get moving.  Kids, school conferences, making lunches, getting problems solved and monsters slayed, appeasing co-workers and catching up with best friends who are those touchstones to Who you Really Are ... that's what the rest of my week holds.  How about you?

I promise myself I will remember to Breathe, take One Thing at a Time, and always know Who I Am.  At least I'll try.

May Love, Sunshine and Fairy Dust bless your day--and mine!

Good Music ...

Good music can make we me weep, in its beauty and profundity, whether it be rock, instrumental guitar, or classical.  So, I guess I could say true beauty makes me weep, in its profundity and poignancy.  I will tear up at a sunset in a heartbeat.  It just resonates in a deep place where I feel one with all, and before I know it, I’m wiping my eyes.

I clearly remember when I was a pre-teen, at music camp.  We were in orchestra (myself being a 2^nd violin), playing Pachelbel’s Canon.  Here I was literally surrounded by all this live music, and I was flooded by the beauty of the piece, at that moment, with 30-40 string instruments in harmony together.  What emotion it evoked!  I had to shut it down to continue playing.

This awesome kid here, Jason Kertson, just did me in with his little video.  I wanted to share it with you.

I think for most people, pure talent is a turn-on.  I think he was around 13 when he did this, 3 years ago.  Wow.

Anyway, 2013 has been kinda blowing my mind.  A lot of big personal growth going on for me, and I know, others.  Still managing to stay centered, getting better at being grounded, and now better navigating the challenges of being part of such a world on the brink.

How y'all doing?  Let me know!

Oh, yeah ... here's that beautiful sunset I was talking about ...

Lake Champlain

Wait! It's June already???

I've started so many blogs in my head the last few months.  Really good ones, too!  They never managed to complete that great journey from my brain into my fingers, through the keyboard and into this blog site.  And now where are they?  Vanished, into the void of things undone and inspiration abandoned... victims of procrastination and neglect.

Oh well, no worries.  That's the beauty of an unlimited Multiverse.   There's always more where those came from!

I've created a bit of a retreat for myself--3 1/2 days of a time out, time away--arriving at the motel at midnight, just now getting into the swing of relaxing and letting my brain unwind from the many chores, obligations and shoulds that plague the "normal" day.  When I've created space in there for enough inspiration for a new post, I'll write it, but for now I'll just include some artsy inspiration that has arisen the last few months!

A gorgeous sunset at Shelburne Beach

I love good writers. Chris Bohjalian is a fave...

The Sandcastle Girls
I loved Chris Bohjalian's deep and poignant novel exploring the Armenian purge a century ago.  He deftly weaves two timelines together, as the horror is lived out by members of a family in one, and we ride along with their granddaughter in the other as she searches out the truth of her familial past. He makes it all too clear the fragility of not only lives, and time, but perception as well; how we view things and then act on that viewpoint, correct or not, can change the course of a family--history--for ever.  Chris is always a good read. This one pulled the tears right out of my eyes, and my heart, at the end.

Below zero ...

It's cold in Vermont this week ... getting colder.  A great day for a fire in the fireplace, cooking up yummy tastes and smells in the kitchen, decluttering the house, letting my brain have its way with paper and pen--markers, actually, lots of them!

Happy 1/23!

A Time of Giving, eh? -- So, Who's Doing The Receiving?

It’s a fine balance, isn’t it?  I’ve written about this before—how so many of us are so busy doing, and not realizing that we’re in total yang mode most of the time.  Yang—outward, active, the male principle.  It is impossible to receive in yang.  Receiving is the Yin principle—the receptive, passive, feminine aspect of life.  You can’t receive if you always putting out.  Sometimes it’s appropriate to just sit back, receive, take it all in.  In fact, for there to be balance, it is necessary to do it a lot more than sometimes.

This came up recently at a meditation I was leading.  There was a specific purpose to the meditation, so I was leading a specific energy experience.  This one friend had arrived late and had missed the part about the intent.  The meditation, as experienced by those of us who did it, was very powerful and significant.  When we shared, it was incredible the beautiful journeys through the cosmos we'd experienced.

When it was my friend’s turn, he said, “I was gone.  I didn’t hear anything you said, I went way far out and just did my own thing.”

Now, this is a friend who has been on the spiritual path for a long time, and has years of experience with energy work and meditation.  And, this has happened before, where I’ve lead a meditation experience, and he just doesn’t participate.  He’s there, but he’s not on the same page as everyone else.  When he said that, it really kind of changed the energy—we had all been sharing our experience of the meditation, and what he said really kind of blew it all away dismissively. 

I was thinking about it this morning, because I have been guilty of the same thing.  I’ve been meditating and working with energy so long, I have my own way of doing it, and so that’s what I do.  But last spring I was doing meditation once a week with a friend who lead a particular technique that I was not familiar with, nor really comfortable with.  Knowing and admiring this person, however, I quickly realized that I wanted to receive what he had to offer.  What he was offering, with his heart, his spirit and his intention was beautiful and precious, a gift, and I knew I just had to put aside my way of doing things, and give myself over to him and his intention to offer this particular experience.  Over time, I got used to it, and I really liked it for the completely different experience it was.  It had a really beautiful effect on me, and I got there a totally different way than I had experienced before.

But I had to get out of “doing” mode, the yang, active principle, and get into the receiving, yin mode.  Then I was in a state where I could “get” it and fully receive the experience.

I don’t think my friend the other night realizes that there is a little bit of ego, and arrogance, in what he said… the energy of my way is better, you aren’t offering me anything worthwhile, I’m special and different so I don’t have to do what you guys are doing … that was all very subtlely in there.  That energy then has a detrimental effect on the room, the rest of the participants, and the experience.

Now, I did what I could to mitigate the situation, and energetically it was all fine.  But I think it’s a good lesson for all of us.  Are we really receiving?  At all?  Or are we pre-judging, assuming and just closing ourselves off to so much of what life is bringing to us?  Because we think we know better, or are better than …

Just sayin’ … It’s the last breath of 2012, and the time for excuses is long over.  I’m choosing to be present, to be ever more aware and to receive with intention, just as I give with intention.

May you receive many blessings throughout the holiday season and in the New Year.  What can you allow yourself to be and receive in 2013???

Throwing a dinner party for friends is one of my favorite ways to give and receive!