Rose-colored Glasses ....

I don't do depressed well. I'm just not familiar with it, it's not a state I spend much time in. I've always found too much to be joyful about, despite what has often seemed like 3 lifetimes' worth of lessons cleverly disguised as travails packed into one. I'm too much of an appreciator of life to get bogged down in sadness, usually. I appreciate beauty, I appreciate kindness and goodness, I really appreciate love. And I find these things everywhere I look, which is a good thing.


Rose-colored glasses. My wasbands have used mine to condemn me and criticize me, telling me to see things how they really are. In a way, they're right. I mean, I generally subscribe to Abraham's viewpoint, which is, Yes, wear the Rose-colored glasses. You have to visualize and align with how you want things to be, rather than how they are now, if you want them to change. So, that's what I do. I think I do have a pretty good perception of what is, but I definitely focus on the good, the bright, the light. And this can cause me pain.


I keep forgetting that--because I have an excellent Forgetter, especially of things unpleasant. Like certain people in my life who continue to be a source of pain. I get hurt, I back away, I try to maintain a distance, for my own salvation. But then the natural caring, the concern, the kindness that is who I am forces its way to the surface, not to be kept down and suppressed. In this way I warm up to them again, soften my heart, let them in. Only, a couple of years later, to find I should have been watching my back. Uh, would you mind pulling that knife out, please, the one between my shoulder blades? I can't quite reach it...


My best friend said to me, "You keep expecting them to change. They can't. They can't change, and they won't." I know, I know ... damn that Forgetter! Wow. So, as soon as I get over the shock of this one, because it is a doozy, I'll try putting that Forgetter in storage for awhile, see how long I can go without it. Because some things need remembering. Such as: There's enough pain in the world without painting a target on yourself. Remember to keep your heart open only to those who treat it well. Note to Self: Remember that.

We'll see how good my Rememberer is ...